R U OK? has released ‘Staying Connected’, a free printed activity book of games, puzzles and quizzes with personal stories and conversation tips to help senior Australians feel more connected and supported.
Senior Australians contribute a wealth of talent and experience to our community, but ageing is not without its challenges. After the age of 65, some people will experience mental health challenges for the first time and not know how or where to find support. Isolation, grief, changing circumstances and concern about their independence are compounding risk factors.
‘Staying Connected’ highlights the importance of connection and how making time for a chat can mean so much to a friend or loved one.
One of those featured in the book is Gus Gleeson, 79. Gus’ wife had lived with dementia for five years before she passed away. The couple were married for 55 years and shared two children, four grandchildren and three great grandchildren.
Gus has subsequently experienced grief and loneliness, but has found comfort in connecting with others in his community including a weekly men’s coffee group started by Greg Smith, 42, who is an R U OK? Community Ambassador.
“Most of the guys are on their own or live on their own, so are in similar situations,” said Gus.
“We talk about all sorts and even share stories about learning new domestic chores since our wives have passed away. A lot of people don’t like talking about it, I think it’s a male thing.
“The coffee group is so important to me. I genuinely look forward to going and Greg is such a great bloke.
“He puts so much thought into the groups, which is probably why we all keep showing up. It’s important that we continue to go – to keep social and to keep connected. If you can’t go, you feel like you miss out on something and if you don’t turn up, they’ll ring to see if you’re OK,” he says.
Research has found people engaged with the R U OK? campaign are up to six times more likely to reach out to someone who might be troubled. Which is why R U OK? is working to build awareness and engagement with those aged 65 and older to build capacity amongst seniors to look out for each other.
For R U OK? Community Ambassador, Greg, forming meaningful friendships with men from the coffee group has been as valuable. Greg has been a full-time carer for his mum Lyn for more than 10 years.
“Being a carer is very rewarding, but it can take a toll,” said Greg.
“It took me a while to realise I was so focused on Mum’s needs and looking after her, that I wasn’t doing things for myself and because of that my mental health took a hit. I noticed other blokes in similar situations to me, so I thought if I do something for myself, I could also do something for them.
“Being around these blokes, knowing what they have been through, and having them around as support gives me hope for whatever challenges I face.
“Spending time with older people helps you understand life a little more. And they have cracker stories. It’s really great to see the friendships that have formed over the years.”
The signs it’s time for an R U OK? conversation can be subtle. There might be changes in verbal or non-verbal behaviour. Someone might tell you they are having difficulty filling their days or they might be withdrawing from social situations.
“A meaningful ‘natter’ can positively impact feelings of self-worth and self-esteem and make a big difference to someone who might be struggling with life,” says Katherine Newton, R U OK? CEO.
“R U OK? want to empower our seniors and the broader community to stay connected with the seniors in their world,” she said.
‘Your Natter Matters: Ask R U OK?’ Learn how to ask at www.ruok.org.au.
For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
