Unpaid carers are some of Australia’s most committed unsung heroes, but a silent epidemic of exhaustion and burnout is pushing them to breaking point, a national in-home care provider warns.
An estimated three million Australians currently provide unpaid care to a loved one, including ageing individuals experiencing physical or cognitive decline.
But as they are celebrated this National Carers Week (13-19 October), there’s also a more serious underlying message – of the need to care for carers to help prevent burnout.
It’s a message being reinforced by in-home care and respite provider, Home Instead.
including respite for unpaid carers.
“As a community, we need to ensure we look after the unpaid carers, who do an incredible – and essential – job yet seldom receive the recognition they deserve,” said Home Instead Client Experience Manager, Amy Devlin.
“The simple fact is without the support they provide, their loved one, in many instances, will end up in either hospital or residential care.”
Ms Devlin has seen many examples where carers have been left in urgent need of respite -pushed to breaking point by a burden of care they don’t begrudge but which takes a toll.
“In these cases, you can see caring is starting to become a burden for them,” she says.
“As you speak to the carer, the emotional and mental anguish they are experiencing is quite visible and there are also often physical signs – their hair may not be brushed, or they may look exhausted.”
Ms Devlin said those caring for their partners often didn’t take a break because they felt
obligated to deliver support around the clock.
“Unfortunately, they may think that if they take a break then they aren’t doing their job properly,” she said.
“However, it’s incredibly important that they recharge their own batteries so they can continue to support their loved one rather than burn out altogether.
“Those caring for an ageing parent can also need a break, as providing that support and managing their own family and work commitments can be a really tall order.”
Respite takes many forms, but tends to involve a paid caregiver providing the unpaid
carer with a break lasting a couple of hours or even overnight.
“A lot of our work is providing respite, including overnight respite, to family members,
who need and deserve to take some time out for themselves,” Ms Devlin said.
“Whether it’s helping their loved one take a shower or provide companionship, we help
give breaks to carers who need one – and deserve one.”
The top 10 signs a carer may need respite:
- Physical exhaustion;
- Emotional burnout;
- Increased stress levels;
- Ill health, resulting in more frequent trips to a GP and/or hospital;
- Not getting enough sleep;
- Making comments about not having enough time for themselves;
- An irritable mood, including being short or snappy with the person they are caring
for; - Poor personal hygiene, such as bad body odour and/or lack of grooming, such as
not brushing their hair; - Making comments that they feel guilty, which is usually a sign they feel like they
must be around the person they are caring for all the time; - Withdrawing from social activities, such as ceasing visits with family members,
friends and groups.
Physically exhausted, emotionally drained and increasingly resentful, Julie Grimshaw desperately needed respite from caring for a husband with Alzheimer’s.
Although rewarding, being a carer for Stephen – who was also recovering from bladder cancer and three strokes – had pushed the Melbourne grandmother to breaking point in April this year.
Looking back, Julie says she wishes she had put aside her determination to be his sole carer and recognised the signs she needed respite.
“After Stephen had his strokes and I was preparing to bring him home from the hospital, the doctors told me to get some paid care,” Julie said.
“At the time, I thought ‘I’ll be right, I can do this’.
“But shortly after, in December 2023, I got COVID for the third time; not only was Stephen unable to care for me but he hardly ate for three days.
“I got through the summer and was doing my best, but shortly after that I became really resentful and short with him – that’s when I realised I needed help.”
It’s a realisation Julie wished she had made sooner as the assessment process for a Home Care Package took almost an entire year.
But it’s this package that has now given Stephen government-subsidised care, offering Julie some much-needed respite. Each Monday, a Home Instead CAREGiver provides care and companionship to the former police officer in the familiar surrounds of his Croydon home.
The visits last for only three hours but make a world of difference to Julie as she enjoys her volunteering shift at a nearby community emergency relief service.
“Stephen used to ring me constantly asking where I was, but now keeps busy with trips to the supermarket, chemist and podiatrist,” Julie said.
“His CAREGiver also sets up the TV with his favourite game show before she leaves, so he’s far more relaxed when I get home.”
Julie will receive some further respite soon as Stephen begins to spend one day a week at a men’s group, in government-funded support arranged by Home Instead. Joining the group will also likely be an opportunity for Stephen, a former state lawn bowler, to regularly take to the green.
“Physically, he’s really good – you wouldn’t know he’s had multiple strokes – and while he’s lost the art of conversation, he hasn’t lost his sense of humour,” she said.
“He loves his bowling, so it will be great for both of us.”
Julie is sharing her story to encourage other family caregivers to seek respite so they can continue to support their loved one, rather than burn out.
“Investigate your options, particularly government-subsidised support, as soon as you can. I left it too long,” she said.
She also encourages others in a similar position to consider joining their local carers group.
“Initially, I was reluctant to join a carers group, but felt I needed to bounce off someone as none of our friends are going through something like this,” she said.
“The group has been incredible – there are six of us who get on famously and understand what one another are experiencing.”
